t: Nugget 2 Comments
There was time Mrs. G. was reading when she heard a loud THUMP. Her son was napping on his top bunk bed, so she immediately suspected that something was not right. The ensuing screaming of oww my head! oww my head! confirmed her initial suspicion. Mrs. G. is so afraid of blood that she freezes and nearly faints when she comes into contact with it. Mrs. G, ran down the hall toward her son’s cries and stood outside his door. Son, are you o.k. she asked as he continued to cry owww my head! oww my head! Son, are you, um, bleeding? Mrs. G. asked, her feet frozen to the floor. Noooo…it was only then, after at least 96 seconds of child abuse and overt medical neglect, that Mrs G. busted into his room and rushed to hug and comfort him and check his pupils for signs of concussion. Mrs. G’s children experienced this delayed response to emergencies so often that in a attempt to survive the skinned knees and rusty nails of childhood, they learned to yell Mom I hurt myself but I’m not bleeding in order to receive boo-boo healing kisses or any medical attention that required a Band aid or a spritz of Bactine.
In 2001, one of Mrs. G’s students came up to her after class and asked her if she had read the bestselling book called Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand. He told her it was about this amazing true story about a thoroughbred that became a symbol of hope to many Americans during the Great Depression. Mrs. G. was so swept up that one of her students was using the phrase symbol of hope and referencing the Great Depression, that she didn’t bat an eye when he went on to earnestly tell her that the most inspirational part of this book was the fact that Seabiscuit had only three legs… that he was a three-legged race horse.
So, naturally, Mrs. G. went home and relayed the story to her family at dinner. When she got to the part about Seabiscuit having only three legs, the silence was deafening. Mrs. G. would like to point out that when she is not cooking and cleaning and educating her two kids, she spends a good portion of her week educating other people’s children and reminding them for the 2,345th time the difference between there, their and they’re and that ’cause is not a word. Yes, it would be hard to gallop with only three legs, but cut her some slack. And that student that punk’d her with this false information? She failed his ass. She didn’t really, but she wanted to.