The magic view
Written by Suet: make a difference, sue 2 Comments
My old housemate Dana was a flight attendant on those little puddle-jumper airplanes. Her typical day would be something like: San Luis Obispo to Los Angeles International. Los Angeles International to Bakersfield. Bakersfield to San Diego. Little hops with cranky people who were anxious about making their connection in time.
We often talked about how people lose their minds on airplanes. Whether they are afraid of flying, nervous about who they are meeting, sad about leaving, or whatever the stressor may be, people behave in ways on airplanes that they would never do in ordinary life.
Dana was the recipient of their anger and stress. She was only 21 at the time, a beautiful girl with a radiant smile – she was often mistaken for Keri Russell in “Felicity.” But she didn’t let it get to her. The only time I ever saw her cry about work was because of management, not because of her customers.
In fact, her company received letters almost weekly telling them what a good job she was doing. One said “Dana is the most wonderful flight attendant I have ever met.”
I asked her how she did it, how she kept her cool in the face of people abusing her all day long.
“I look back and I imagine them all as cranky 2-year-olds,” she said. “I just see them as tired and upset and needing something to make them happy.”
I love that. Now when I see people acting like idiots, I try to remember that they are just acting like their inner toddler. They are lost and out of control in a big, bewildering world where they can’t get what they want and they are acting out.
Hey, it’s worth a try, right?
April 25th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Brilliant. I’m using that. Now if only I wasn’t terrified of my manager . . .
May 1st, 2008 at 11:09 am
I worked with another female attorney who would hang up on abusive male attorneys by saying “you’re really upset. I’m going to hang up and pray for you. When you feel better, call me back.” She did actually pray for them. And it worked every time, once I started doing it– “you’re really upset. I’m going to hang up and wish you well. Call me back when you’re feeling better, and we’ll work something out.” Recognizing they were in pain about something and taking it out on me let me shut them down in a way that saved me listening to their ranting, without getting up their gander even worse.