…for holiday newsletters. Do y’all get these too? I send one out, but I try to make it funny and light rather than a two page, double sided brag fest about how brilliant and talented my children are. (And they are. Totally.) While searching for a funny quote to use on the top of our family newsletter, I came across this:

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. ~Dave Barry

I had myself a right chuckle. (Because that’s what I do when I laugh, I chuckle. UK style. With my pinky extended.)

And here’s another for all of you that are as sick to death of politically correct holiday greetings as I am:

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’ ~Dave Barry

I don’t even know who Dave Barry is, I hope he isn’t someone I’d hate if I met him in real life, because that would really put a damper on my chuckling. So don’t tell me if he’s a douche bag, okay?

Next Wednesday is the day after Christmas when I hopefully will be so stuffed with turkey and mashed potatoes, I won’t be able to reach my keyboard, so I’ll see you all next year!