What are we running after?
Written by OMSHt: Hopeful, Inspiring, OMSH, photos 20 Comments
It seems that the majority of people seem to be on one of two tracks. And forgive me if this seems like a gross generalization, perhaps I should say, it seems the majority of people I talk with seem to be on one of two tracks. There, yes, that is much better.
First, there are those, like me, running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I never much cared for that term, but having SEEN a chicken with its head chopped off, I know it isn’t much different than what I do. Running here and there and WHAM – right into a wall. Trying again and BAM, right into another one. The walls can be sickness, emotional upheavals, or even just complete exhaustion, but they are walls just the same and boy do they smart when I hit them.
The second tract is slower, more balanced, and simpler. There are several writers in blogdom and beyond who are promoting the freedom of a simpler life. I agree wholeheartedly with a good deal of what they are all about.
When we purchased the home we are in now we intended to down-size our life. The military was our first clue that we needed to down-size…we had to pay additional monies because all our STUFF exceeded our weight limit; THAT was a heavy price for clutter. Now that we are out of the military, we continue to down-size.
We selected a smaller home (1230 sq. ft.), we decided to reduce clutter (no more knick knack paddy whacks), gave away furniture to family and friends who needed it, gave “space” to our home, and it really has worked to simplify our daily routines and open up our home to LIVE in more freely.
Applying that concept to the inner workings of my mind and my daily schedule is another thing altogether.
I clutter my mind with multiple projects, balancing schedules precariously, and working ’til I drop. Now, mind you, I’m a bit of a work-a-holic by nature, but I don’t believe that is any excuse for continuing in what is truly a detrimental mode of functioning. What is that mode? Stuff as much as I can into a single day and berate myself when the checklist isn’t complete at 2:00 a.m. – the hour I often drop like a rock into a deep pool of sleep.
What? You don’t work that way?
This year I purposed to give outstanding customer service to those who trust me with their website designs and/or sites. I felt that if they invested in my services, that I wanted them to walk away with a sense of fulfillment in that investment.
I want to do that with my daily life as well. I need to purpose to give the same level of attention to my personal needs, my family and extended family’s needs, and my community and church’s needs. It is important; it makes for a balanced life.
If I sat and wrote down what I’ve been racing after in my work, I’d have to say knowledge, fulfillment, and satisfaction in completion. I like to start, work through challenges, and complete things – it is why I love what I do.
Still, why am I running?
Why not walk?
Where is the pause that allows me to think, dwell, and simply BE at a slower pace?
Why don’t I lay down to rest instead of resting where I fall?
It is February and March will be here in a breath. New Year Resolutions have long been made and some have long been dismissed, but this year I truly do want to learn to walk again.
Are you walking or running?
February 20th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Heather, this reminds me of the IT creedo: Good, fast, or cheap. Pick any two.
February 20th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Yep. I recognize those walls. (ow, that smarts.)
February 20th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Good and fast?
Good and cheap?
Fast and cheap?
haha
EXACTLY.
Note, GREAT is not there; apparently it stands alone.
February 20th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Great reminder for my week! Thanks!
February 20th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Mostly walking but I’m older, no children, work from a home office so a bit easier than married, children and working outside the home. Still, I made a conscious decision when I was in my early 30’s (20 something years ago!) that I wanted a quieter, simpler life. I moved from L.A. to small town Montana, scaled back, simplified, jettisoned “stuff”. I have no problem saying “No” or “Not at this time” to requests for my time – whether it be church, work – even a family request. My blog is “From the front porch” because I start and end my day there – cup of coffee in the morning and glass of wine in the evening. It is my place to “Be still” – to think, to watch, to listen – to God, my heart, my pets, nature. If it’s cold, I bundle up…the porch is covered so rain or snow is not a problem. At any rate, “walking” works for me – I have never regretted the choice.
February 20th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Thanks for this. I have learned to cut back, but I am still doing a slight jog.
February 20th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
I am definitely hearing you. Like Angella, I try to walk and then find myself doing a double-time step for a while. Thanks for this reminder BEFORE spring hits, and the days are that much longer…
February 20th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Oh, I’m running. I’m runningrunningrunning. I’m running so hard and so fast that I haven’t made time to focus on something that I should be doing–running (for real!) to train for a half marathon in 10 weeks. how much does that suck?
February 20th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I totally agree with you! I too came to this realization and blogged about it a few days ago. I have slowed down from running to a hmm, speed walker I believe!
February 20th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Um … running … WHAT’S YOUR POINT???????
Great post OMSH!!!
February 20th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I think it’s actually in my nature to resist running. When things get too crazy, I find a way to slow down. Having a preschooler helps. She is naturally a sloooow walker, and when she drags her heels it makes me stop and ask myself, “Do I really need to be in a hurry right now?”
February 20th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
I tend to run til I hit the wall, then I rebel and take a few days where I don’t do anything other than what is absolutely necessary. I definitely need to find a balance between the two. I also need to declutter in a big way as well, unfortunately I’m married to a pack rat!!
February 21st, 2008 at 12:04 am
I am running running so hard. I want to slow down, so, so badly. And yet in even trying to do that I’m huffing and puffing. At the foot of my bed, where I am currently reclining, sits a mass of books taken out of the library today. What are they about? Slowing down, giving up the chase of perfection. Learning to be in the moment, to love myself and on and on. And you know what? I feel this awful urgency in my chest to Hurry. Up. and Read. them all. Right Now. And it does not feel good.
February 21st, 2008 at 12:35 am
Ann – The front porch sounds like an excellent choice for starting the day. I used to do that on the couch before anyone woke up. A quiet time and then what my dad and I have always called “stare time”. This involves holding a coffee mug and staring blankly at a whatever. I have no idea why it is so soothing – possibly because we aren’t really “seeing” that thing, but rather just waking up mentally.
Shawna – I think everyone here will agree with you that training for a marathon truly stinks great big spoiled goat cheese slices. I know, I’m so creative – can you believe I just made that up? Don’t be jealous.)
bethany actually – I have a preschooler and he doesn’t walk. How did you get a walking one? Mine runs.
Busymomma66 – You and I are made of the same genetic makeup; I can tell. I’m one extreme or the other.
nyjlm – READ THOSE – and then give me the Cliff’s Notes version…m’kay?
Thanks all of you for understanding my struggle. I think it is a valuable struggle and one I’ll continue forward in because I am determined to not run through my life, but live IN it.
February 21st, 2008 at 1:05 am
OMSH – Oh, mine runs. Except when I want her to hurry, and then she is slower than molasses. When I hear myself urging her to “Hurry, let’s go, we’re late, get your coat/socks/shoes on quickly!” I try to stop and think, are we really in a hurry, or am I just rushing out of stupid habit? And when we don’t really have a reason to rush, I try to let her dawdle, because really, when is she going to be able to do that again in her life? When am I?
February 21st, 2008 at 2:01 am
bethany actually – I do the same thing to Kenny when I’m trying to get out the door. I swear, waiting for him to turn off his Leapster and put it in the right spot seems to take forever. Silly really – I’m rarely needing to be anywhere IMMEDIATELY ever.
It is Mom Disease…I’m certain. *wink*
February 22nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Just found this site through Mrs. G.
I am trying to walk. I recently really pared down after an exhausting and complicated year. Had my second baby, started working (quit my writing group and Buddhist parents’ group), started to get sick, had friends staying with us for six months, got really sick… friends left, quit the job, started the Buddhist Parents’ Group again (it’s a lifesaver), and oh yeah, kept the baby.
It was really telling to me that I QUIT the things that nourished me (writing and mindfulness). Now I am prioritizing those things.
And I am right there on the dawdling. I really dislike hearing myself rushing my kids along. I recently read (on Everyday Yogini, I think) about counting to 10 before asking your child to “come on!” or “hurry up!” and have been doing that. Really, that is all they need sometimes though it can seem like F-O-R-E-V-E-R.
Thanks for this post, OMSH. Good luck on finding your pace, and congrats on doing all you have already.
Blessings,
Stacy
February 24th, 2008 at 10:31 am
I want so desperately to slow down but I don’t know how to figure out where I can let go. I work outside the home, have 4 children ages 4 to 12 and a disabled husband. I am doing the minimums and still feel like it’s never enough and it’s never done. *sigh*
February 24th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Stacy – When I get sick it is USUALLY because there is too, too much. My sickness is almost always set off by exhaustion.
I do like the solution to yelling hurry up. It is probably a rare moment when my child can’t be at my side within 10 seconds.
Jules – I can’t imagine what your daily grind might be like. Perhaps for you the idea is to get help in one area or the other, so you can free it up. For instance, I recently got a housecleaner. Of course, my friends think I’m insane. “Why can’t you clean your own home? You’re home all day and it isn’t that big.”
Yep, I’m home most the day and yep, it is small, but I want it CLEAN and I’m unwilling to take away from some of our life activities to get it that way when I can use money I earn to let someone else do it for me.
Is there anything you can give over?
February 4th, 2010 at 10:54 am
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